


The Jeans-Incident

by fcktupartist



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Animated Series, Star Trek: The Original Series, Star Trek: The Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Academy Anecdotes, Banter, Bones is an idiot, Crack, Drunk Spock (Star Trek), Drunken Shenanigans, Drunken Storytelling, Explicit Language, Friendship, Gen, Laughter, Misunderstandings, Sex Jokes, Spock & McCoy banter, Teasing, Truth or Drink, everyone is drunk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-03
Updated: 2020-12-03
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:00:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27866526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fcktupartist/pseuds/fcktupartist
Summary: The captain suddenly began to chuckle. „Tell ’em about the Jeans-Incident, Bones! The Laundry-Rumor!“ He grinned.To everyone’s surprise it was Spock who spoke up. „I have only heard little about the Laundry-Rumor.“ His words were slightly slurred. He was obviously not used to being drunk. „It happened in my last semester as a student, correct? I only know that it involved students exchanging indecencies in the public laundry room of the dorms.“akaBones is straight as an arrow but there was that one time he'd found himself with his pants around his ankles with a kneeling Jim at his feet, and he swears there is heterosexual explanation!
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	The Jeans-Incident

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this little thing in one day. I was inspired by a reddit post about just this situation (can't find it anymore, and I'm too lazy to properly search now xD). So if you find it tell me and I might put a link somewhere. Anyways, I thought it was kinda funny and gave it a little twist and context here :)  
> Hope you enjoy!

„Was that answer enough? What do you guys think?“  
„No.“  
„No.“  
„No.“  
„No.“  
„Come on guys, don’t be cruel!“  
„Nyota, he can’t answer if he prefers to receive or to give oral with an ‚I did not give the topic elaborate thought‘!“  
Uhura looked like she wanted to protest further but Spock stopped her. „I will just have the drink, Nyota,“ Spock said in a snippy voice and gulped down his shot of Italian hot chocolate, hoping that his face did not look as flushed as it felt. Why had he ever consented to partake in this illogical ‚bonding-experience‘ with the bridge crew on shore leave?  
The Captain handed the PADD to Chekov to his right and turned the bottle on the table again. „So, doctor.“ Chekov pressed the button for the next question on the screen and McCoy groaned when he heard his colleague giggle at the device. „What iz the gayest thing that haz ever happened to you?“  
McCoy rolled his eyes. „Are you shitting me, kid? I was roommates with Jimmy-boy at the academy! Ask me what I didn’t have to witness! I am scarred for life!“ He reached for his glass already, but Chekov insisted. „But it sayz about thing that happened to you. Not thing you witnessed,“ he said before Spock could ask what the doctors obsession with excrements was about and how it related to his rooming experience with the captain.  
Said captain suddenly began to chuckle. „Tell ’em about the Jeans-Incident, Bones! The Laundry-Rumor!“ He grinned.  
With an exasperated groan McCoy shook his head. „Fuck you, man, I still say you are responsible for that mess! Do you know how many guys I had hitting on me the month following that evening?“  
„Well, noo Ah am curioos tay, mate!“ Scotty voiced and took an unprovoked sip from his glass.  
McCoy reached for the bottle. „I am not telling that story!“  
To everyone’s surprise it was Spock who spoke up. „I have only heard little about the Laundry-Rumor.“ His words were slightly slurred. He was obviously not used to being drunk. „It happened in my last year as a student, correct? I only know that it involved students exchanging indecencies in the public laundry room of the dorms.“  
Sulu quickly hid the shocked burst of laughter behind his hand and Chekov fixed his excited gaze on his captain who was still giggling behind his pint.  
„Yeah, you got me, I want to hear that too now!“ Uhura said and leaned back in preparation of a good story.  
The doctor groaned and buried his face in his hands. „Jim, you tell it, I am definitely not!“  
All eyes were on Jim now, who put down his drink and comfortably settled back against the wall behind him.  
„It happened in our first semester. I already had my reputation going and everyone knew Bones was my roommate.“ He grinned into the circle of his colleagues and friends. „So one night we study real late into the night and at some point we decide if we’re staying up anyways, we can just as well do our laundry of the week, and at that time of the day we likely didn’t have to wait for one of the machines to be free. So we go down into the basement with our stuff and on the way Bones’ notices I have jeans in my basket and says he thought we didn’t do jeans that week. I show him the laundry plan on my PADD and he’s kinda pissed at himself ’cause he really wanted to wash his jeans, the ones he was wearing right then, so I told him to just take them off in the laundry room and sneak back up in his boxers.“  
He saw Uhura’s mouth twitch. She obviously caught on to what was going to happen. Sulu looked at him in ill-masked anticipation as well.  
„So we reach the laundry room and I go kneel before the machine to stuff our laundry in while Bones is at the wall panel to program the thing to what we’re washing. I then ask him for his pants and hear the belt buckle clinking and the fabric ruffle behind me and then he just stops. And I am confused and I ask ‚What’s the problem, man, do you have a boner or what?‘ without looking back.“  
„Och, Ah see where this is gonnae,“ Scotty rejoiced quietly to himself.  
Bones took a large gulp from his bottle to hide his face. Everybody had understood where this was going at that point and tried to hide the own amusement. Everyone but Spock, that was, who still watched the captain innocently, waiting for further explanations.  
„And when I finally turn around to see what’s going on I see this guy standing in the door staring at us. Just imagine the picture! I was kneeling on the ground before the laundry machine in my tank top and shorts and Bones is behind me, jeans around his ankles and his loose leather belt in both hands. Sounds like the setup for a bad porn holo.“  
The loud laughter almost drowned out Bones loud complain. „It was totally your fault, Jim! You said at that time of day we’d never meet anybody else and I could take the risk!“  
Jim shook his head. „I said it was unlikely, Bones, it was like one in the morning or something, and I said that I would take the risk if I was you! You are a big boy and you’re responsible for your own actions!“ He gracefully ignored the rude hand gesture Bones made in his direction. „Also, at that point you could have saved the whole situation by just rolling with it and acting normal!“  
Sulu whistled. „With all due respect, I don’t see how this could have been saved!“ Further chuckling ensued. Jim rolled his eyes, still grinning. „If he would have just taken the damn pants off and given them to me it would still have been weird, but it wouldn’t have been too horrible. But guess what the idiot does instead!“ He shot Bones an amused look. „He clears his throat, says ‚We’ll do it later!‘ and proceeds to pull his pants back up and thread the fucking belt back into place.“  
Bones snorted and blushed furiously when he saw Spock digging a knuckle into the corner of his mouth to keep it from twitching.  
„I was panicking, okay?“ He desperately tried to defend himself.  
Spock cocked his head and popped a piece of chocolate candy in his mouth. „I have to agree with the captain on this occasion, doctor. Removing your trousers would have been the logical choice in that situation,“ he said, which only made his friends laugh even harder.  
„Did you really ask him if he had a boner, Keptin? Did the other guy hear?“  
Jim snorted and nodded, grinning from one ear to the other.  
Scotty shook his head laughing. „Him holdin’ th’ belt that way when th’ bloke cam in is th’ cherry oan top if ye ask me!“  
„Nobody asked you, Scotty!“ McCoy grumbled and ripped the PADD from Chekhov’s hands. His mood lightened again, when the bottle landed on Spock again, who downed another shot before even hearing the question. „Hey, that doesn’t count, you didn’t even listen!“ He grinned when he saw the question. „So, Spock, if you had to pick one of the boys here to fuck you tonight, who’d you pick?“  
Spock looked around and swayed in his seat for a second before deadpanning. „Why, you of course, doctor!“  
Everyone gaped. „What? W- Why?“ McCoy stuttered.  
Spock’s voice slurred again and a tiny grin pulled on his mouth. „Because I deduce from your attitude that your equipment will be the least invasive in my posterior and because of your marital status you will most likely be easy to please.“  
After seconds of shocked silence McCoy asked. „Did you just say I have a small dick and finish early?“  
Spock hiccuped. „Evidently, doctor.“  
The sounds of McCoy lunging over the table at Spock and the Vulcan diving under the table, bumping his head in the process, were drowned in the reverberation of roaring laughter bouncing between the walls.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it ;) I'll look it over again tomorrow to look for typos and stuff. If you find some, please tell me, and if you have constructive criticism tell me too, and if you liked it tell me as well, and just text me ok, I love comments xD


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